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On occasion, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that conclusion on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Though people have been called narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, because of so much stigma associated with the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people diagnosed with the condition are men, studies indicates this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” notes a young adult who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

I find it difficult with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she shares, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning all this time what is suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the development of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number